Friday, August 19, 2016

The Worst Full Moon

Well.  I do indeed have tea, and tonight, it's chamomille.  This past week has been like something out of a nightmare, and the hell of it is, I don't know whether to be glad the week is over, or to try and hang on to today for as long as it will last.  Today, everyone is still living, no one is in jail as an accomplice to murder except some dude I don't know, and he's in jail for attempted murder.  But I put the cart before the horse.  Let's start at the beginning.

Last Saturday, there was a huge boom outside.  I heard my daughter say, "It's Brandon!" and so I flew to the door, and sure enough, my nephew's car had been knocked on top of the phone box, and the car that hit him was resting in a nicely plowed new furrow in my front yard.  Thankfully, there were no injuries, except the cars and some feelings, and my landline.

Sunday night, three nights before the moon was truly full, that same nephew (who had lost his mother to cancer only a week before), went to the aid of my other nephew's girlfriend because he was beating her.  Nephew 1, Brandon, ended up beating the crap out of Aaron, nephew 2.

And when Aaron's mother found out about it, she did what she normally does.  She took to facebook and waged war.  The things she typed to Brandon for e v e r y one to see were truly horrid, unthinkable, and so awful that you felt the punch in your own gut.

I kept out of it publicly, talking to Brandon and Aaron in private to try to make them see sense and to let them know they are loved, and how family counts,  until she began, as she always does, talking smack about the family who have not taken her to the methadone clinic for her doses.  We did that for a while.  Almost a year, until either the vehicles went down or someone was sick or we had to be out of town, and she talked so much trash about us to people who believed her that we distanced ourselves from her.  We had to.  She is one of the most toxic people I've ever met.  But she is my sister, and for that reason, I love her.  Plus, I can remember a time she was not quite so volatile and manipulative.

I couldn't take her to the clinic myself, but made arrangements with my daughter to see that she made it there to get her daily dose.  Little did I know, she is also taking pills along with her methadone.

And then sis started really spiralling to the point I considered having her committed for her own safety, if not everyone else's. And then I thought - Waitaminute.  She has a husband! So i called her long-distance spouse and expressed my concerns about the broken pictures, the trashed house, the claw marks she had left on Aaron's upper body.  Well, he said, I might be home this weekend. I'll figure something out.

Oh happy day!  He might come home to check on his wife.

And then he talked to her on the phone and told her everything I said.  I would have said it to her myself, but she is not a person you can reason with, or talk to, because she truly doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior and manages to twist it to make YOU look like the bad guy, and then of course, she runs to Facebook - just what someone like her needs, a stage and an audience - and raked me over hell's coals.  And then the husband did the same thing, only in private message.  Yes, she twisted circumstances in her own favor, and as always, he took the easy way out and believed her.  All I wanted was to get some help for the woman.

IN THE MEANTIME - sister's daughter called her boyfriend to come fight her husband (niece's husband) because he pulled her drunk ass out of a car so she wouldn't drive.  She pepper sprayed her husband and the friend riding with her began beating him.  He defended himself.  And shortly after that, when nothing else was going on, the boyfriend comes, breaks a window, takes a broken rake handle and stabs the husband through the liver.  He likely will not live.  And the niece will likely be charged as an accomplice to murder if he dies.

FOLLOWING THAT, daughter's car wouldn't start.  She couldn't take sister to get her dose.  Sister once again waged war...

That's more than enough for the picture, is it not?  And you're probably thinking - wow, with those kids, sister probably has good reason to be on drugs.  But the fact is, she has been, for some time, an addict.  And the things she has said to her children rival the remarks she made to the nephew about him and his dead mother.

I have reached a terrible point where I can no longer feel compassion for her.  She throws temper tantrums that would put a two-year-old to shame, manipulates people until they are tied in knots, and maligns and slanders us all at the first hint of noncompliance to her wishes.  I don't wish her any harm, but I cannot deal with her.  Not will not - CANNOT.  The best I can do is try to pull together the remnants of my shredded family and have some kind of relationship with them, but not at the expense of the stress that comes with some of them, always.

Maybe that's selfish, but it is what it is.

::raising my teacup::  Here's to a more peaceful weekend.

Saturday, August 6, 2016

The picture above is my little Sadie.  As you can see, she was born to shop, and she loves it.  When she was a tiny baby, she didn't love grandma - not one bit.  She had a way of looking at me that let me know I had just been stabbed and shot with her eyes.  She got over it, though, and now she seems to love ol' Mom (she calls all women Mom), Mom's makeup, jewelry and moisturizer, so much so that I had to buy her a container of her very own.  She's all girl, alright.  That is, until all the boys are around, and then she is rough and tumble.

My son has three children, Mason (8), Robert (4) and that little girl in the picture above (2),  who adore and protect each other.   I mistakenly chose to sit in front of Mason's (he's the oldest brother) drink cup.  Sadie marched up to me, hands on hips and gave me those killing eyes and said No!  That's Mason's!  I had to move before she got really upset!  Then, at the pool, a lady engaged little Robert in some play and conversation...big brother stood up, looked at her and said, Can I HELP you? He has obviously been schooled in stranger danger and was having none of that.  And Robert...he comes to me and says, Sadie is hungry.  Thirsty, too.  It amazes me, how close they are, and I hope they always will be.

My daugher's children...little Steven is 7 and a bit of a loner, but adores his older brother, Joshua.  Josh graduated high school this year.  We took him out to dinner later that evening, and when Josh made his entrance, Steven jumped up and screamed - I saved you a seat, right here beside me! Josh is the gamer, and Steven is the chef.  Just tonight, he made a Starburst candy sandwich and submitted it to his Mom, the judge.  She gave him a 10 for creativity.  Not sure how the rest went :-)

Love these children.  For the last year or so, they have spent a lot of time at my house. When they are over, the house and routine are in a jubilant state of disorganization, and when they leave, it feels so quiet and empty.  For about 10 minutes, it does, and then the peace and quiet are like an old friend for an old lady..comforting.

I had wanted one more child, in the earlier years of my marriage, but it wasn't to be.  But these guys more than make up for it.

Friday, August 5, 2016

There are few things in this life that will lift your spirits like..hmm.  A new love.  A new baby.  A new car when you have been driving a clunker that has clunked its last mile and you know it.  And there is little in life that brings you joy as much as hearing from an old friend.

Mary, welcome back to the world of blogging.  Whatever has transpired between our last interaction and now, you have been so kind to me, and to many others, I'm sure.  You have been missed.  You have been remembered fondly, and you have my friendship and support any time you need it.

I'm doing fine these days.  Not blogging like we all used to, and I miss that part of my life - the sharing, friendships borne of of that sharing, and the writing!  Once upon a time, not a day went by that I didn't write, but life has a way of turning attention elsewhere.

Unbelievable things have happened in the past four years.  Jail, hospital stays (the children, not me), and new grandbabies.  Robert and Sadie Grace arrived on the scene 4 and 2 years ago, respectively, and they breathed new life into an old lady.  I love all my children and grandchildren.  I'm glad the (jail) problems resolved favorably, glad the hospital stays have been benign, and I am joyously, delirously happy with ALL of my grandkids.

Today, I'm thankful for so much.  It's nice to be happy :-)