Me, me, me, me me!

So, it helps to blog. It keeps me honest. ;-)

I started physical therapy two weeks ago, for my back. Didn't realize how much I needed some help until I got there, and the therapist kept looking at me like 1. I was insane. 2. He didn't know what to make of me. 3. He was completely puzzled by my presence.

He was great, though. He assessed and identified the problem and started me on exercises to strengthen my hips. He also introduced me to massage via electrodes and heat by ultrasound. Holy cow, it's worth the money per visit just for the massage. However, money and time are an issue, and three times a week x $$ is not doable right now. It's ok, though. I came away with a few tricks, how to move correctly, and it seems to be helping.

I will miss the massage, though. Shoot.

The diet is going well. I have been faithful to it all day today, and hope to make it a full week. One interesting note I came across while researching nutrition...gelatin contains collagen that, when ingested, is good for the skin. Who would have thought...still, it's a bit hard to ingest it when you read what's in it. Hooves?? If you can turn off that image, you can scarf down jello with no problem.

It's easier to be positive when you're being good to yourself...a month ago, I found myself growing short tempered and intolerant of almost everything. Requests from other people came across as demands. I was not having fine moments by a long shot.

So I prayed. My own request was for help to make me what I needed to be, and what Mom and others need me to be. I was sincere in prayer. And then, things started happening. The PT, the desire to take care of myself, but something else...friends started reappearing in my life.

My buddy Charles called and actually invited us over. We went, and had a good time. Got caught in an explosive electrical storm on the way home, and it was great!

Old friends from school found me on facebook. I had an invitation for coffee, and conversation.

My boss started putting limits on what other departments could ask me to do. That, alone, is wondrous. And highly unusual.

I hope this is a trend and not a fad. But even if it stops, it all came at a time when it was sorely needed. I can be happy with that.

Good Sunday Evening

I never saw what the last couple of years had done to me (oh, I suspected, but didn't pay it much mind) until I looked in the mirror last Thursday morning - holy cow, was that me?! - no pun intented.

I have gained 30 pounds and it really, really shows. My face looks like an overinflated balloon, my hair was shapeless, past my shoulders and I looked horrible.

I have no point of reference, except myself, but my guess is, most women are so busy taking care of everyone else that they forget they have to figure somewhere into the equation. Eat right - take a little time for exercise, like a nice, long walk. Get a haircut every now and then, why don't we, and maybe even read a book. Have a bubble bath, soak until the rest of the skin wrinkles. Write once in a while, because cliche or not, if you don't use it, that muscle will atrophy and may never recover.

After the initial shock of being confronted with an honest mirror, I took a few steps toward finding myself again. I recommitted to South Beach, waited an hour and a half for hair cut, and since I was already in the chair, had the eyebrows waxed and sprang for a shampoo - which I have to tell you was the next best thing to the best ... intimacy... I ever had. Tea tree shampoo. It is heaven in a bottle.

I bought a book, the new one by Pat Conroy, filled a grocery cart full of fresh vegetables and fruits and spent a small mint on shower gel.

Sometimes, you have to be good to yourself. I think sometime has come for me.