Yesterday was Mother's Day. We all loaded up and headed for Golden China Buffet because this mama didn't feel like cooking for a crowd, as much as I love them. It was fun - we laughed until the other diners started looking at us like we were nuts.
It was so great to get out of the house, so wonderful to feel good for a change. And then, on the way home, I saw something coming out of the woods. Even while I was yelling, watch out, watch out, watch out! I was trying to figure out what the heck WAS that. It wasn't a dog; it was much too long for that, a little too big for that, but it was running on all fours, straight for our path. Jim swerved all over the road trying to miss it. Thank God no cars were coming! and just before we hit it, or it hit us, I realized it was a bear. I know our tires went right over it - had to - felt that awful thud. I never looked in the rear view mirror, just couldn't. We stopped at a nearby store, turned around and went back. It was gone, so my hope is we didn't kill it.
It was an adolescent, maybe 100 pounds or so. Mama had probably kicked him out of the den, and so he went looking for love in all the wrong places. He didn't find it on Highway 211, that's for sure. Hope you're ok, big boy. If we could have avoided you, we would have.
Shortly after, we made it home. I sat in my chair and trembled for a while, and noticed the neighbor's kids walking through my yard - again. One of them is around 15 years old, very tall and large. I had asked them numerous times not to use my yard as a shortcut, not because I'm the mean old lady next door, but because I don't want a bunch of people I don't know in my yard at any given time. After the 12th time - NO exaggeration - yesterday, I stepped out on my porch and waited for them to come back - which they did. There were about six kids, including the big one, and I said, Hey, I've asked you kids so many times not to walk through the yard. The big one was carrying a 2x4, which did not escape my notice. the big one said, I'm sorry for walking through your yard, BUT - and then he went off about another neighbor, a dog, a dog bite, drugs and "she disrespected my little cousins." I went to the little one to inspect his leg - no broken skin, thank goodness. "She done called the law and gave them MY description," the big one went on. "So ok, then!" Like that justified his walking through with a 2x4. I don't know what he was going to do with that, but he headed straight for the neighbor's home. "don't go over there, you're going to make things worse." But he kept going. So i pulled out the big guns and little bit of a white lie. "I work in law enforcement." He dropped that 2x4 like it was on fire. "and the best thing you can do is go home, call your parents, and let the law handle this."
A while later, two deputies walked through my apparently community property lawn sans 10-72's, so I assume Big Guy wasn't arrested this time. And the drug dealing neighbor lady is still alive, NOT having been killed by blunt force trauma with a piece of wood.
That kid is headed for big trouble and will probably BE big trouble if his parents don't step in and get him under control. The worst thing is, they're leaving him in charge of four small kids and their older sister. They've given too much responsibility to someone who doesn't have the maturity or impulse control to handle it.
Looking back over all of this, it was a miracle no other cars were on a busy highway while we swerved our impotent way all over the place to avoid a huge animal. It was a miracle I decided to go outside to confront the big guy after letting it slide all day. Maybe God has plans for me, yet.
Monday, May 14, 2018
Saturday, May 5, 2018
Done!
Hopefully, this will be my last chemo post. My last treatment was four weeks ago. Since then, life has been pretty slow due to being exhausted and glued to the sofa, and then things went south. Platelets were way down, I had petechiae and purpura, and then my red blood cells started dropping. I had a blood transfusion on Wednesday, and have felt somewhat better. I can breathe! I can walk from one spot to another without chest pains or having to lean on whatever is available. For that, I am truly grateful. Hopefully, I can return to work June 1. Sure could use the money. Disability doesn't pay very much, but I would have been lost without it.
I started thinking back over this whole episode in my life. I don't know what the future holds, or where I stand as far as cancer goes - no scans. Go figure. But I have learned a few things, and here they are:
What Chemo Taught Me
Hair
Losing you hair isn't' the end of the world.
It's nice to ride with the windows rolled down without it blowing in your face.
It takes a lot less time to get ready for an outing without it.
Winters are a lot colder with no hair!
I cannot tie a scarf worth a flip.
Hats can hide a multitude of sins.
Eyelashes are a must, but you can do without them.
Eyebrows? What eyebrows?
The face is so smooth without it!
It looks ugly growing back in, but it's fascinating to watch it grow and thicken. I wasn't looking at myself in the mirror, I was marveling over that thick carpet making its resurrection after being killed with poison, and my body should be able to do the same.
Human Nature
No one can understand what cancer is like unless they have it, and no one can understand what chemo does to a person unless they experience it, but that's true of any life experience.
Conversely, some people are kind and are a lifeline when you feel like shit.
You find out who your real friends are (to include family) when you are recovering from treatments. And just because they don't understand or are afraid/uncomfortable doesn't mean they don't care. In some cases, it doesn't mean that they do, either. ;-)
Chemo and cancer made me want to be a better person -- not completely from the religious aspects of mortality, but to have a mission to help those who need a friend or a simple act of kindness in their day. A little goes a long, long way.
Feeling Better
Sometimes you have to put yourself first.
The laundry will still be there.
A chair works for clothes just as well as the closet or the chest of drawers.
Vitamin B-12 is a miraculous substance.
A little makeup helps a lot!
Rest when you need, and let your body heal.
Dogs make the best nurses.
Doing for someone else who feels worse than you makes you feel useful.
Children make your heart smile.
Music soothes the soul.
Prayer and meditation are lifelines.
Hydrate, moisturize, take your meds!
Looking at Life
You can't fix everything for everybody, but you can be supportive.
People will hurt, but they are resilient.
Sometimes, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let situations work out for themselves.
Praying never hurt anybody.
Being a walking anachronism isn't a bad thing.
Judge Not. It ain't your job.
I don't think you can love everybody, but you don't have to hate those you just can't love.
Forgiveness is necessary.
Bitterness is counterproductive.
Sometimes you just have to go outside and revel in nature.
Each moment matters. Make it count.
I have been blessed with love, provided for when I didn't think there was a way, protected when I could have been hurt. I can't say life has been unfair.
That's it for now.
I started thinking back over this whole episode in my life. I don't know what the future holds, or where I stand as far as cancer goes - no scans. Go figure. But I have learned a few things, and here they are:
What Chemo Taught Me
Hair
Losing you hair isn't' the end of the world.
It's nice to ride with the windows rolled down without it blowing in your face.
It takes a lot less time to get ready for an outing without it.
Winters are a lot colder with no hair!
I cannot tie a scarf worth a flip.
Hats can hide a multitude of sins.
Eyelashes are a must, but you can do without them.
Eyebrows? What eyebrows?
The face is so smooth without it!
It looks ugly growing back in, but it's fascinating to watch it grow and thicken. I wasn't looking at myself in the mirror, I was marveling over that thick carpet making its resurrection after being killed with poison, and my body should be able to do the same.
Human Nature
No one can understand what cancer is like unless they have it, and no one can understand what chemo does to a person unless they experience it, but that's true of any life experience.
Conversely, some people are kind and are a lifeline when you feel like shit.
You find out who your real friends are (to include family) when you are recovering from treatments. And just because they don't understand or are afraid/uncomfortable doesn't mean they don't care. In some cases, it doesn't mean that they do, either. ;-)
Chemo and cancer made me want to be a better person -- not completely from the religious aspects of mortality, but to have a mission to help those who need a friend or a simple act of kindness in their day. A little goes a long, long way.
Feeling Better
Sometimes you have to put yourself first.
The laundry will still be there.
A chair works for clothes just as well as the closet or the chest of drawers.
Vitamin B-12 is a miraculous substance.
A little makeup helps a lot!
Rest when you need, and let your body heal.
Dogs make the best nurses.
Doing for someone else who feels worse than you makes you feel useful.
Children make your heart smile.
Music soothes the soul.
Prayer and meditation are lifelines.
Hydrate, moisturize, take your meds!
Looking at Life
You can't fix everything for everybody, but you can be supportive.
People will hurt, but they are resilient.
Sometimes, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let situations work out for themselves.
Praying never hurt anybody.
Being a walking anachronism isn't a bad thing.
Judge Not. It ain't your job.
I don't think you can love everybody, but you don't have to hate those you just can't love.
Forgiveness is necessary.
Bitterness is counterproductive.
Sometimes you just have to go outside and revel in nature.
Each moment matters. Make it count.
I have been blessed with love, provided for when I didn't think there was a way, protected when I could have been hurt. I can't say life has been unfair.
That's it for now.
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