Saturday, May 5, 2018

Done!

Hopefully, this will be my last chemo post.  My last treatment was four weeks ago.  Since then, life has been pretty slow due to being exhausted and glued to the sofa, and then things went south.  Platelets were way down, I had petechiae and purpura, and then my red blood cells started dropping.  I had a blood transfusion on Wednesday, and have felt somewhat better.  I can breathe!  I can walk from one spot to another without chest pains or having to lean on whatever is available.  For that, I am truly grateful.  Hopefully, I can return to work June 1.  Sure could use the money.  Disability doesn't pay very much, but I would have been lost without it.

I started thinking back over this whole episode in my life.  I don't know what the future holds, or where I stand as far as cancer goes - no scans.  Go figure.  But I have learned a few things, and here they are:

What Chemo Taught Me

Hair

Losing you hair isn't' the end of the world. 
It's nice to ride with the windows rolled down without it blowing in your face.
It takes a lot less time to get ready for an outing without it.
Winters are a lot colder with no hair!
I cannot tie a scarf worth a flip.
Hats can hide a multitude of sins.
Eyelashes are a must, but you can do without them.
Eyebrows?  What eyebrows?
The face is so smooth without it!
It looks ugly growing back in, but it's fascinating to watch it grow and thicken.  I wasn't looking at myself in the mirror, I was marveling over that thick carpet making its resurrection after being killed with poison, and my body should be able to do the same.

Human Nature
No one can understand what cancer is like unless they have it, and no one can understand what chemo does to a person unless they experience it, but that's true of any life experience.
Conversely, some people are kind and are a lifeline when you feel like shit.
You find out who your real friends are (to include family) when you are recovering from treatments.  And just because they don't understand or are afraid/uncomfortable doesn't mean they don't care.  In some cases, it doesn't mean that they do, either. ;-)
Chemo and cancer made me want to be a better person -- not completely from the religious aspects of mortality, but to have a mission to help those who need a friend or a simple act of kindness in their day.  A little goes a long, long way.

Feeling Better
Sometimes you have to put yourself first.
The laundry will still be there.
A chair works for clothes just as well as the closet or the chest of drawers.
Vitamin B-12 is a miraculous substance.
A little makeup helps a lot!
Rest when you need, and let your body heal.
Dogs make the best nurses.
Doing for someone else who feels worse than you makes you feel useful.
Children make your heart smile.
Music soothes the soul.
Prayer and meditation are lifelines.
Hydrate, moisturize, take your meds!

Looking at Life
You can't fix everything for everybody, but you can be supportive.
People will hurt, but they are resilient.
Sometimes, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let situations work out for themselves.
Praying never hurt anybody.
Being a walking anachronism isn't a bad thing.
Judge Not.  It ain't your job.
I don't think you can love everybody, but you don't have to hate those you just can't love.
Forgiveness is necessary.
Bitterness is counterproductive.
Sometimes you just have to go outside and revel in nature.
Each moment matters.  Make it count.
I have been blessed with love, provided for when I didn't think there was a way, protected when I could have been hurt.  I can't say life has been unfair.

That's it for now. 







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